Bovine Free State Times

The BFST is a centrist arena for the slaughtering of sacred cows. Its purpose is to use satire to make clear the absurdity of many facets of the world that we live in. It exists to spread the memes of cheerful nihilism, which Lucky Strike believes is the only rational way to approach life on Earth. Email us abuse and/or suggestions at:

Location: New Zealand

A bipedal primate whose cognitive capacities are insuffient to answer the questions that are generated by life on Earth.

Friday, May 06, 2005

Bookies bear baited breath on Brit ballot

LONDON - Bookmakers around the world, and especially in Britain, are holding their breath tonight over the impending British general election.

A few months after the start of the US-led invasion of Iraq in March 2003, many bookies began to offer a "Iraqi leader trifecta", a bet that would pay out if leaders of the USA, the UK and Australia won re-election. Given the massive unpopularity of the Iraq War amongst Britons and Australians, and given the series of economic blunders being committed by George W. Bush, most bookies offered long odds for the trifecta.

Mark Rhodes, CEO and owner of, an online bookmaking service based in Scotland, said that many factors spoke for his decision to offer odds of nine to one on the trifecta. “Bush has run up one of the largest deficits ever seen. He cuts taxes during a war. The British public is getting quite sick of Blair, as they have been for a while. The health system is a shambles. Howard was running for his fourth consecutive election. The usual rule is, people get sick of politicians the longer they’re in power. It seemed reasonable to think that one of Howard, Blair or Bush would lose. The populations of these countries would either have to have a sudden attack of total, utter, nation-spanning madness, or without warning or precedent become the most forgiving people in history.”

Mr. Rhodes declined to say how much money he stands to lose if Labour wins the election.

Brad McDougall, Chief Odds Analyst at, said that not even technicalities could save them now. “We offered ten to one on the trifecta, longer odds than people might think, because of the chances that a leadership challenge might displace either Blair or Howard. This seemed quite possible two years ago.

“The worst thing is, thousands of people, fueled by hate and anger for the war, went and put money on the [Iraqi leader] trifecta, as a symbol of their opposition. Now we’ll have to pay through the arse for them.”


Blogger Redneckrick said...

I'm currently looking at dragging out the kids piggy bank for this... they'll thank me in years to come, I'm sure of it!!!

10:07 PM  
Blogger Lucky Strike said...

Thanks redneckrick, although please don't blame me when you lose and your kids send you off to the old folks home at age 61 because you gambled away all their inheritance money.

2:18 AM  

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