Bovine Free State Times

The BFST is a centrist arena for the slaughtering of sacred cows. Its purpose is to use satire to make clear the absurdity of many facets of the world that we live in. It exists to spread the memes of cheerful nihilism, which Lucky Strike believes is the only rational way to approach life on Earth. Email us abuse and/or suggestions at:

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A bipedal primate whose cognitive capacities are insuffient to answer the questions that are generated by life on Earth.

Saturday, May 28, 2005

Coaching Snub Riles Indian Student

CHRISTCHURCH - Canterbury University Economics student Rahul Mandrekar today expressed his disappointment at the selection process used by the Indian Cricket Board to select a new coach for the national side.

Mandrekar, 24, had applied for the role of head coach, which was recently vacated by the New Zealander John Wright. His application was apparently rejected without receiving a reply.

Mandrekar says the process is "incomprehensibly biased" towards coaches that have real world experience, something that he claims is "short-sighted and naive."

He says that India would be better served if it looked at "unorthodox" qualifications such as his success in Cricinfo Cricket Manager (CCM), a popular online game where players manage their own village cricket teams against other human players. "I took my team, INDIA ROOLZ!!11!1, from the bottom division to the very top, winning a number of trophies along the way.

"My players were a bunch of injury-prone losers when I took over the team. I defy Greg Chappell to replicate the success I have had. In fact, if he wants to prove himself worthy of the job, he must challenge my team. If he can't even manage an online cricket side, how could anyone think he has what it takes to manage India?

"I can beat anybody anytime. Rain or shine, fast or sticky wickets - it's all the same. I will humiliate all comers!"

Outgoing coach Wright says that Mandrekar may have underestimated the magnitude of the task. "The difference is, the real Indian team has one billion fans whereas his team has none. If he likes, he can challenge me - my team is currently second in a very, very tough division."

Chappell told the BFST that since taking the job as India's head coach he has been forced to retire his CCM team. "But if this fella wants to, I'm sure Sourav will give him a friendly. He's good like that."


Anonymous Wasim Akram said...

Typical cheating Indian! Your reporter might want to ask him how he did all that in half a season!

4:28 AM  
Anonymous pakiandproud said...

like india would be dumb enough to hire an indian coach...

4:31 AM  
Anonymous Someone who actually plays CM said...

"I took my team, INDIA ROOLZ!!11!1, from the bottom division to the very top, winning a number of trophies along the way."

Thats why he didn't get selected. He's a liar! :)

4:33 AM  
Blogger Lucky Strike said...

Oi. Knock off the hate thanks guys. That's just not cricket.

4:41 AM  

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