Bovine Free State Times

The BFST is a centrist arena for the slaughtering of sacred cows. Its purpose is to use satire to make clear the absurdity of many facets of the world that we live in. It exists to spread the memes of cheerful nihilism, which Lucky Strike believes is the only rational way to approach life on Earth. Email us abuse and/or suggestions at: bfstblog@gmail.com

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A bipedal primate whose cognitive capacities are insuffient to answer the questions that are generated by life on Earth.

Sunday, May 29, 2005

Kofi Annan says "Wait until 500,000"

NEW YORK - UN Secretary General Kofi Annan said today that he considers 500,000 deaths to be a reasonable benchmark for a criterion for defining genocide.

The statement was made in the context of a discussion about the genocide in Sudan. Pressured to act over the ongoing mass slaughter of African animists by the Arab government in Khartoum, sources say that Annan was sent scrambling for an excuse to delay action.

"The current situation, in which 100,000 men, women and children have been slaughtered and raped, isn't all that bad." Kofi told a meeting of UN delegates in New York. "I mean, it's not nice, but in the grand scheme of things it's just a drop in the ocean, really."

Annan was flustered and had clear difficulty keeping a straight face during the mid-afternoon speech.

The most controversial moment of the 20-minute speech was when Annan told the delegates that half a million deaths would be a more appropriate figure for a definition of genocide, and that "until this figure is reached, it's probably best not to worry about it too much."

Analysts fear that if the number of deaths rises to 500,000, Annan will simply find another reason to excuse the UN from taking action. Likely excuses are expected to be respect for Sudanese sovereignty, finding a technical loophole, and using support of the fledgling African Union as an excuse to dump responsibility on to them.

Sources close to Annan say that he is still mentally exhausted from his furious opposition to the US-led war in Iraq, which ousted dictator Saddam Hussein, who is believed to be responsible for the deaths of over a million people.

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