Bovine Free State Times

The BFST is a centrist arena for the slaughtering of sacred cows. Its purpose is to use satire to make clear the absurdity of many facets of the world that we live in. It exists to spread the memes of cheerful nihilism, which Lucky Strike believes is the only rational way to approach life on Earth. Email us abuse and/or suggestions at:

Location: New Zealand

A bipedal primate whose cognitive capacities are insuffient to answer the questions that are generated by life on Earth.

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Labour denies poll influence

WELLINGTON - Helen Clark emphatically denied today accusations that her Labour party was excessively poll oriented when it came to making policy decisions.

Speaking from her personal makeup studio on the ninth floor of the Beehive, Clark said these accusations were "part of a whole body of rumours that seek to portray the Labour party as shallow, concerned mostly with appearances and a little too media savvy."

The denial comes hot on the heels of a Colmar-Brunton poll taken last week that suggested that the New Zealand public has a dim view of politicians who construct policy according to polls instead of ideology. 75% of respondents said that they would be less likely to vote for a party if they believed that that party altered their policy to adapt to polling. 18% said it would make no difference.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I note in your article you mention that Helen CLark is in her makeup office. You have mentioned something that I feel needs to be dressed upon more. You talk about how parties are trying to get votes by looking for what the voters want to hear. I think another issue is that the parties are not who we think they are. Helen Clark has been in one country classed as a model, have you asked why is this? I can tell you, in real life Ms Clark looks like one of those orcs on The Lord of the Rings.TRhis is why there is a need for a whole room for makeup, as so much is needed. This is another example of how the parties are changing things to suit the voters, who would vote for a party that look so ugly, hence the makeup. I just wonder what all of the other parties look like. We have a bunch of ugly orcs running our country and presenting our News, such as that Paul Holmes, he has even admitted they used him in the movie. What is this country coming to. Everything is changed to meet with what the country really wants to see and hear.

5:54 PM  
Blogger Lucky Strike said...

What is this country coming to? Never fear. If Paul "Cheeky Darkie" Holmes is one of the nation's best-loved personalities, we can rest assured that the only way from here is up.

The other parties are a bunch of hairy, ape-like, aggressive, misbegotten freaks, but in contrast to Labour they are mostly men.

Yes, we are a bunch of fickle, shallow, emotionally promiscuous wankers. Not sure what to do yet. As soon as the BFST gets any ideas, we'll let you know.

9:33 PM  

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