Bovine Free State Times

The BFST is a centrist arena for the slaughtering of sacred cows. Its purpose is to use satire to make clear the absurdity of many facets of the world that we live in. It exists to spread the memes of cheerful nihilism, which Lucky Strike believes is the only rational way to approach life on Earth. Email us abuse and/or suggestions at:

Location: New Zealand

A bipedal primate whose cognitive capacities are insuffient to answer the questions that are generated by life on Earth.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Nihilist Society Welcomes Reports of 'Iron Law of Failure'

CHRISTCHURCH - Canterbury University Students Club The Nihilists Society has issued a statement welcoming discovery of what is being called the 'Iron Law of Failure'.

The Iron Law of Failure was a theory, recently promoted to law by the researcher Paul Ormerod, who found that "no amount of planning or calculation can escape the iron law of failure that governs human endeavour." Success or failure is more due to luck than anything else. Our ignorance about the future and the difficulty of predicting other people's behaviour mean that careful planning is futile.

Vince Murphy, Captain of the university Nihilist's Club, says the news is welcome.

"We're happy that some academics are starting to realise what we in the Nihilists Society have known for a long time - namely that life is meaningless. Your happiness and your actions are only barely connected. You might as well just do whatever you feel like."

When asked if that kind of attitude caused him to be swallowed by a cosmic sense of despair, Murphy replied "Not at all. In fact, the more people that understand the futility of intensively planning one's every move, the more people that can just sit back and enjoy this absurd existence into which we have been thrust."

Murphy says that 'a few dozen' people have shown interest in joining the Nihilists Society since news of the discovery of the Iron Law of Failure became known. "That is cool. But man, I've seen four suicides in the week since the big news - I was almost hit by a falling body on Tuesday. Not that I would have cared if I too had been killed, but it's an interesting event nonetheless."

The revelation has come as a shock to various governmental agencies, as well as many business groups, especially those which are concerned with long-term planning.

Sources close to Business Roundtable chairman Roger Kerr say that he was initially dismayed by the news, but now seems to have recovered his morale and now intends to start a commune in the Coromandel along with Michael Cullen and Jeanette Fitzsimmons.


Anonymous Lindsay said...

Vince Murphy - classic

3:33 PM  

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