Bovine Free State Times

The BFST is a centrist arena for the slaughtering of sacred cows. Its purpose is to use satire to make clear the absurdity of many facets of the world that we live in. It exists to spread the memes of cheerful nihilism, which Lucky Strike believes is the only rational way to approach life on Earth. Email us abuse and/or suggestions at:

Location: New Zealand

A bipedal primate whose cognitive capacities are insuffient to answer the questions that are generated by life on Earth.

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

'Toxic' star shaken by Christchurch provincialist vibe

CHRISTCHURCH - Britney Spears, famous pop star and loose-moraled icon to tens of millions of teenage girls, has spoken out against the 'provincialist vibe' she felt in Christchurch while watching the Crusaders play the Blues in the third round of this year's Super 12.

Spears, from Louisiana, told the BFST that she felt a definite wariness and unease amongst people while walking through Cathedral Square earlier in the day.

"When I got to Christchurch a lot of people did not know who Britney Spears was" she recalls. "I was a woman who was dressed tastefully and obviously not wearing gumboots or a rugby jersey so I think people automatically assumed I was an Aucklander."

"There was a definite vibe...I wouldn't say it was blind hatred, but a definite disgust and unease."

Spears' comments struck a chord with rugby personality Carlos Spencer. Spencer said in a telephone interview that he had regularly visited Christchurch over the last ten or so years.

"It's a peculiar situation in the South Island, but one thing that has always been is that shallow, vapid personalities with very limited mental capacity who rely on physical attributes such as looks or strength to get by don't fit into the culture that Southerners feel themselves comfortable in."

Spencer said that South Islanders were "living in the past" with their stubborn refusal to slavishly follow artificial cultural trends concocted by the Auckland-based media.

Provincialist attitudes were extolled from the top down, Spencer added, with the Crusaders franchise's obstinate refusal to hire an Aucklander as head coach.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am just mortified that the New Zealand airport authority even let Ms SPears into our country. I mean what a way to ruin such a lovely peaceful place, letting that white trash in here. I am just glad that she doesnot want to live here. SHe obviously does not understand our religion and culture of rugby. I spit on her

2:40 PM  
Blogger Lucky Strike said...

I share many of your sentiments about the white trashiness of Ms. Spears. However, I feel the best reason for keeping her out is the difficulties her physical appearance would make for her chance of fitting in. New Zealand is no place for women of smoking hotness of that magnitude.

4:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, obiously you are a male. Ms Spears it not a 'woman of smoking hotness' I find your to be very unattractive due to the horid clothing, or should I say the lack of clothing that she wears most of the time. If she was a hot as you say she is then you would NOT have married such a wanker as that Kevin. I would love to see who she would have married if she had worn normaol clothing that left alot to the imagination.

5:44 PM  
Blogger Lucky Strike said...

The amount of clothing she wears would leave very little for my imagination, which has explored every part of Ms Spears several times over.

9:17 PM  
Blogger Lucky Strike said...

In any case, it's well known that Kevin is Britney's gimp and as such only makes a comment on Ms Spears clothing when he is told to.

9:19 PM  

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