Bovine Free State Times

The BFST is a centrist arena for the slaughtering of sacred cows. Its purpose is to use satire to make clear the absurdity of many facets of the world that we live in. It exists to spread the memes of cheerful nihilism, which Lucky Strike believes is the only rational way to approach life on Earth. Email us abuse and/or suggestions at:

Location: New Zealand

A bipedal primate whose cognitive capacities are insuffient to answer the questions that are generated by life on Earth.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

World Condemns Latest Israeli Atrocity

NEW YORK - World leaders gathered at UN headquarters today to condemn the latest atrocity committed by Israeli troops against Palestinian civilians.

Reports from Jerusalem say that an Israeli sergeant was seen taking a lollipop from a Palestinian child near the center of the city.

UN Secretary General Kofi Annan called the act "a grave mistake" and "another step backwards in the peace process". He admonished the Israeli government for their lack of foresight, saying that "When deeds such as these are carried out under the eyes of Israeli leaders, these leaders should know that history will not be kind to them."

The act met with instantaneous and widespread disapproval from all the nations of the world. The Heads of State of 47 countries wrote letters to Israeli president Ariel Sharon expressign their profound disgust, and imploring him to reign in the extremists within the Israeli Army.

Arab nations were not so diplomatic. A statement by the Arab League in response to the deed said "This brutal and vicious act has not gone unnoticed by the suffering peoples of the Arab lands. It is an example of the outrageous criminality of the Jew. He should know that his blood will run in the desert sand before long."

In Ramallah, Palestinian mobs burned American flags and effigies of Ariel Sharon.

French President Jacques Chirac also spoke to the UN delegates, saying that "This appalling crime will last for decades as a black mark upon the Israeli people."

Most major media devoted full coverage to the event. In the day's other news, it was reported that the absolute number of people with HIV in India has been estimated by a government survey to exceed 10,000,000, and that expert climatologists at Dundee University in Britain believe that the Gulf Stream may shut off by 2020, rendering Northern Europe uninhabitable.


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